“Dear IVF Warrior,”
Throughout my career as a counselor, I have worked closely with women who are struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss. I have spent hours upon hours listening to my clients express the fear, anxiety, heartache, deepest yearning, and joy that comes along with struggling to conceive. I have seen firsthand the kind of toll infertility can take on a person. And as an infertility therapist, I often share these big feelings with my clients. I close my eyes and think sticky thoughts with my whole damn heart when I know she’s having a big day. I hold my breath every time a client who recently had an implantation comes into session, praying that things are okay week after week. I celebrate when shown ultrasounds. I shed tears of joy when things go well. I shed tears of sorrow when they don’t. I grieve the losses with her. I wait patiently for what feels like forever, because IVF is a waiting game, after all. I feel and hold space for it all. And even then, what I feel is only the smallest percentage of what these women endure.
This message is for you: For the woman who is scared. For the woman who is tired. For the woman who feels alone. For the woman who has been through hell and back. For the woman who still dares to hope and dream.
Dear IVF warrior,
Hey friend. I know things have not been easy for you lately. I know that going through IVF has probably felt like a roller coaster of hope and disappointment. And I know that it feels like you are alone in this struggle. Infertility is a quiet battle, often fought behind closed doors. But today, I want to take a moment to shine some light onto you, your strength, and share a message of solidarity.
There’s no way around it- what you are going through is hard, gut-wrenching even. Everything you are feeling is normal, so please don’t feel the need to minimize, push past, or move on from things before you’re ready. Because this is painful. And you are so, so deserving of a safe space to feel your way through it.
You are a whole human being who is beautiful and lovable, regardless of what happens. Your worth is not defined by your ability to conceive. You are a remarkable woman with dreams, goals, ambitions, and a heart full of immense love. How your fertility journey unfolds has no sway on your value or the unique light that you bring to this world.
I hope you know that I think of your strength often. I think about the strength it takes to get dressed and walk out the door every day, despite everything you’re going through. Your ability to persevere amazes me. The fact that you get up every day and keep going should be recognized. I see you. And I am in awe of your strength and the courage that it takes to keep pushing forward.
I want you to know that you’re not alone. There is a massive community of women just like you who understand exactly what you are going through. There are countless online forums, support groups, and likely even people in your own life who you can lean on. I know that IVF feels isolating and lonely, but I promise you that there is someone out there that gets you.
Above all, remember that you are deserving of compassion and support. Your courage in the face of this challenge is nothing less than astonishing. And your perseverance is a testament to your strength and grace. The love you carry in your heart and the determination you show are truly remarkable. To put it simply, I think you’re badass. Here’s to you.
With heartfelt admiration and unwavering support,
Shaye
If you are interested in getting some support while navigating your infertility journey, please do not hesitate to reach out to me here. You can also inquire about joining out infertility support group here.